Final Fantasy 13

O HAI THAR.
Yeah, the front cover basically tells you the ending. Like all the other FF logos do. (:
Why am I reviewing this game I hear the man in the back shout!
Well!
Let me tell you good sir.
Because my last review/talk to myself about a game was too nice!
And I feel like a good fucking rant.

Characters 4/10 :-

"4/10! Oh Hannah, you bitch, however could you be so main to the wonderful characters in this game!?"
SHUT IT PEASANT. The characters are annoying.
(Man I love these arguments with myself.)
Anyway, there were characters I liked. Snow was okay, if not a tiny bit obnoxious at times. Him talking about the group called Nora to that kid, who's dead mum is named Nora...Isn't that just a moment where everyone else in the room cringes and stares at the ground and each other while gasping.

The characters of FF13 -
Snow. Looking determined.

Lightning. Looking angry. Typical.

Fang. Looking Australian. Is she Australian? (No one say a thing about Fosters being brewed in the EU.)

Vanille. Looking annoying.

Sazh. Too far? Aha, no one reads this crap anyway, plus it's merely a comment on the stereotyping of the FF games. Take Barret fir example. (:

Hope. No. I don't get it either.

And this people is why no one really likes me on DeviantArt! (:

Story - 8/10
Fair play, the story of the game is pretty interesting. I haven't played it in a while, but it's a good story, basically your characters are attempting to go against the power to bring someone back out of crystal status - while doing this though, they have a another objective, because they have been turned into l'cie, or whatever they're called, they must complete their mission to stop them from turning into Ceith...Or whatever they're called, aha. Ceith are basically souless monsters, who used to be l'cie. What a sad fate.

Graphics - 10/10
Wow. I was blinded by the beauty of these graphics, the menu screen made me giggle like a school girl, which is geeky, and lame, but well, the graphics of this game are great, along with the cutscenes and the music.

Battle System - 7/10
The battle system is much better than 12, but lacking in comparison to the older games. Personally, I'm an old school girl, the old original, simple RPG style of battle has always been my favourite. Simple, and yet, fun, and you could make up your own tactics etc. On this one your tactics are a major function in most boss battles, you can select the two characters you don't control to be healers/defenders/attackers etc. It is quite cool on one hand, and kind of good fun. But on the other hand. There's a major flaw. Your main guy dies. You die. Fuck~!
This happened to me on the final boss, and I was not a happy bunny, as he has a ridiculous amount of health.

Overall - 7/10

This was meant to be a rant! Bugger!
I'll be fair, Final Fantasy 13 is good for beginners to the series, and to those who have played through the whole series. No major flaws, although the characters are debatable. The ending is predictable which is sad, as I feel endings have gotten rubbish over the years (minus Eternal Sonata.) I hope 14 is better than 13. But I somehow doubt it will be. I guess I should just stick to my dusty old playstation 1.

Enzai: Falsely Accused

The first review in this 'Games' blog is a Yaoi Visual Novel.
Well, first impressions means everything right?



So, this is the game.
Me being the pervert I am, I heard about this game while searching for a good ol' Yaoi to watch. The main 3 I have saved to my computer and were the first I ever watched were Boku No Sexual Harrasment (CORN!), Kirepapa, and Ai No Kusabi.
So, I use to be very big in the whole yaoi fangirl circle. I would oggle over the seme's, write fanfics and well be a genuine moron and put love hearts after everything I wrote. Gaay~~

So anyway, as I was saying, someone put on a forum a question about finding some good Yaoi movies. Someone commented about a Yaoi based in a dark, gritty prison, with a dark storyline.
That's my kind of deal.

So! I told my Ubuntu to not be a whiney bitch, sorted out my Wine (not the drink) and well installed Enzai onto my computer.

Enzai is based around the character Guys. You play as him throughout the whole of the game, and after being thrown into prison for a crime you never committed, you have to gather evidence to prove your innocence, as well as avoid being raped and get other NPCs to fall in love with you.
I have read the wikipedia article a few times.

Anyway, I'm not structured - so I'm going to go through the characters.

Guys -
Guys is the protagonist of the game. Personally, his name made me hate him. But anyway, he's quite feisty and is very argumentative, and yet at the same time he's a little bitch and is an extreme Uke. There's something about this character I don't like. He's a bit of an idiot at times, and gives in way to easy. (He obviously wants it from Durer.) While, playing the game - there were parts where I wanted to play as Evan, Lusca, Durer, Io, Jose, anyone but this guy. He kind of bored me.

Durer -
O HAI. ANYONE WANT A CAVITY SEARCH LUL?
No but seriously, he almost ass rapes you as soon as you meet him. And that, my friends, is why this guy is my favourite character! He's sick! Sicker than sick. It's great. In most of the Yaoi movies/pics or whatever I've seen, the seme is usually boring. Just a tough guy, with a blank expression who doesn't make a noise during sex. But Durer is fucking evil, and very sadistic. He's entertaining.
Why can't the make a spin-off game, where you play as him in Prison?

Io -
I HATE UKES. But this guy is an exception. He's my second favourite character, I have to admit. He's a complete weakling and a push over, but he's all innocent and cool. I don't know why I like this character. It might be because Jose pushes him around. It might be because I'm perverted, luckily for me, I'm 16, so it's not too weird I like this character. APPARENTLY he's over 18. Better fuckin' be.

Guildias -
His hair. His fucking hair. This is why I hate this character. I just thought he was boring, but I did skip half of whenever he spoke. I think he should have lost it a bit more in the court scene, he should've gone really weird rather than just shouting a bit. Also, stick in but - ow.

Jose -
Oh, Jose. Jose is a dirty rapist, but one scenario finds your character and him falling in love. I didn't get this ending. Nor did I care for it. Jose is very evil looking, he isn't that bad, but just look at his picture. It's all in the eyes brothers.


Bollanet -


Bollanaise. That's what I referred to him as. I hate this guy. He's a big fatty rapist, too bad his son is so goddamn cool. (Durer that'd be.)
This guy's a pain in the ass. (No Pun intended.)

Vallewida -

Vallewida is an uke, and he gets off on the pain every now and again too. He has ghost modes, and seems to be suffering from a few issues. He's a main character, and is alright. I never bothered too much with his ending, I did get it. And preferred it to the other endings I got. (Bar the pet ending. ;) )

Evan -
Lolololol, HO HO HO, MAH NAME IS EVAN. Okay, I liked this guy at first. He was funny, cool, laid-back, and he looks after Io. Very cute.
Then I got his ending. And I hated it. Might be because I hate Guys, but really I just wanted to see just him and Lusca.

Lusca -
Edgeworth, Pheonix, take on this son-of-a-wha!? He's pretty awesome, even when he's drunk. Him and Guys' ending is kinda gay. (:3) But other than that, he's a pretty great character. Although, I don't know what it was but as soon as him and Guys had their little wank fest at one point, I must admit, I was confused. I didn't think he'd go all gay on me. I would like to see this man paired with Durer.

Belbet -
Anyone up for some chocolate?
Thank the fucking lord that's not a poop joke. Anyway, this guy's nuts. But he's cool. he looks cooler with his overly long hair, and his wild animal-like tendencies.

Shion -
I never met this character when I played. And now my PC refuses to play any games. :'(


So. Overall. The game, is pretty fucking awesome. I reccomend it to any Yaoi fan, it's dark, gritty, full of rape, and the characters aren't bad. Also, the mental issues of most of the characters makes the game more interesting, and you wont find yourself getting bored of the frequent ass rape of Guys.

God. I hate that character.

(: